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Motivation: Making Positive Changes. This
may print better using the Word version. Preface:
The solutions below are quotes, summaries from secular writers along with
some personal applications. If you are a Christian, as you read through
this and apply it, read the verses referenced along with many of the ideas.
It’s best for Christians to complete “Motivation from Within” first. There are two kinds of
motivation, Internal (from within you) and External (an outward
force). Internal motivation is needed for lasting change. Even internally
motivated people do best working with others. Mark below what seems like something you can relate to and put
into practice. ·
External motivation (Consequences) o
When rewards stop, activity stops o
The
need for someone outside of you to approve of you or something outside of you to
prove your worth. John 12:43 o
Since
we can not always obtain outside approval, we may be unhappy with ourselves when
it is not readily available. o
People
who feel they are being controlled, following other people’s rules show less
persistence in pursuing their goals. List some possible
consequences when what you do is because of pressure of some sort from external
sources? _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ ·
Internal motivation o
Definition: Desire and ability to achieve goals
outside of a structured situation or outside rewards. o
Results §
Ability
to pursue a goal to its conclusion.
I Cor 9:24; 2 Tim. 4:7 §
Longer
life, better health, relationships, jobs, more money, lower chance of jail time. o
Tools §
Focus on emotions; feel something. How does success feel? §
Make note of prior hard work and your gains. Persistent
people spend twice as long thinking about their accomplishments. So think
about them! §
“You
don’t overcome challenges by making them smaller but by making yourself
bigger.” Who/what makes you bigger? §
Master
your motivation and find your drive.
I Cor 9:16; 10:31 §
Our
greatest values drive our behavior. (See values below) §
Build
your self-awareness. Think about what’s going on inside of you. 2 Corinthians 13:5 Romans 12:3 §
Learn
how to push your own buttons from the inside out. §
Develop
internal rewards. Start by receiving external rewards from others. Then identify
specific changes you have implemented and give yourself credit for following
through with these changes. §
Make
note of specific positive feedback. Take notes for a day or
week recording specific self-statements about the goal you are trying to
achieve. Then review the list and mark whether the statements are negative or
positive. Make an effort to be more specific in your positive self-statements. VALUES Mark which of the below
you expect to work out best for you. ·
Connect to your values. Tie
your values (below) to what you wish to accomplish. ·
Find your WHY. Figure
out a compelling purpose for what you wish to accomplish. ·
If needed, change your WHY. I
Cor 6:19-20 Eph 2:10 Micah 6:8 ·
Change your HOW. Do
it faster, slower or better. ·
Remember the feeling. Remember
a feeling when things were going the way you want them to go. ·
Shift to past, present or the
future. Find
enjoyment in one of the time frames, a memory or a hope. Don’t allow
your mind to stay in a painful time frame. ·
Find a meaningful metaphor. Ex:
“I can do anything with God’s help.” ·
Take action. Just
get started. James 1:22; 2:17 ·
Link painful tasks to good feelings.
Ex: Play your favorite song and feel the feeling the song gives you. ·
Impress yourself first.” Look
to yourself first for affirmation, not others. ·
“CHOOSE” to. Think,
“I’m CHOOSING” rather than I MUST, HAVE TO, or SHOULD. ·
Pair up. Find
someone to walk or work alongside of you. ·
Change your question.
Instead of what’s wrong with a situation, ask what’s right about it. ·
Play to your strengths. Spend
as much time as possible doing what you’re good at. 1.
How specifically can you put those you think will work into
practice? _________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________ 2.
After
trying them out, mark differently which ones worked best. What are your values? ___ CURIOSITY - The
desire for knowledge and experience. ___ ACCEPTANCE - The
desire for inclusion. ___ ORDER - The desire
for organization. ___ PHYSICAL ACTIVITY -
The desire for the exercise of muscles. ___ HONOR - The desire
to be loyal to one's parents and/or God. ___ POWER - The desire
to influence others. ___ INDEPENDENCE - The
desire for self-reliance. ___ SOCIAL CONTACT - The
desire for companionship. ___ FAMILY - The desire
to raise one's own children. ___ STATUS - The desire
for social standing. ___ IDEALISM - The
desire for social justice. ___ VENGEANCE - The
desire to get even. Rom
12:9 ___ ROMANCE - The desire
for intimacy, sensuality, and sexuality. ___ EATING - The desire
to consume food. ___ SAVING - The desire
to collect things. ___ TRANQUILITY - The
desire for emotional calm. 1.
Put a G next to the values that you
think are God’s business. 2.
Put a I next to the values that are
most important to you. 3.
Write down at least 3 values and how you can use your important
internal values to help you not fail _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ CHANGING BEHAVIOR Mark
in some manner below what is meaningful to you. ·
Changing the environment
(what is around you) where you gave in to your bad habit is the easiest and most
powerful tool. Studies show that 45% of behaviors are repeated in the same place
almost daily. o
Example
of Heroin Addiction §
Only
5 percent of the people who were addicted in Vietnam did not become re-addicted
when they returned to the United States. §
90%
of addicts treated in the U.S. and returned home relapsed. o
As
needed, and as possible change §
Where
you go §
What
is close to you §
Who
is close to you I
Cor 15:33 o
Put
whatever you can in place to make: James 4:7 §
Failing
harder to do (even if it forces you to just take 30 seconds longer) §
Succeeding
easier to do (even if a very small change) o
Have
a reminder (Ex: A sign, a daily text message from a friend) o
Join
or stay in a group so you see change is possible. Hebrews
10:25 ·
Replace, not just stop a bad habit. What
is your replacement? Eph 4:22-24; 5:18 ·
Have a plan o
Write out the steps you take before your unwanted behavior and
your ways of escape. (Use Steps to Failure study)
I Cor 10:13 o
Write
out the triggers that lead to your unwanted behavior. (Below) §
Write
out how you can avoid the triggers as much as possible. §
Commit
ahead of time and have a plan written out for when the trigger happens §
What
can you think differently when the trigger happens? ·
Work with your willpower o
Without
God’s intervention, it is limited. Rom 12:3 §
Plan
as few changes as possible at a time. §
Make
as few decisions as possible. (Follow a routine as much as possible) o
Be
accountable to a friend who will also be of help to you. Prov
27:17 o
Think
about how important success is to you. o
Think
about somebody else who has good self-control, who sets a good example.
I Cor 4:15 o
Believe
that you have lots of willpower. 2 Cor 12:9 Phil 4:13 ·
When struggling o
Eat
something, like protein. Mark 5:42-43 o
Get
enough rest. Mark
6:31 §
Most
failure is evening hours or after §
Impulsive
crimes are mostly committed after midnight. ·
Practice self control.
When you get to the end of your day and you KNOW you won’t “fail” at
something important, practice self control. 2 Timothy 1:7 o
Wait
a few minutes before doing something you want to do. o
Just
listen to someone when don’t want to or want to talk. o
Do
some sort of physical workout. Improving Success Mark
in some manner below what is meaningful to you. ·
Motivation is more important than intelligence
or ability to complete tasks. ·
We’re more motivated by the need for autonomy, mastery and
purpose when performing complex tasks ·
Nothing more motivating than progress in meaningful work ·
Nothing more un-motivating than setbacks ·
Many small gains are better than occasional large gains ·
Nearly every person is motivated by different needs, at varying
degrees, and at different times. 1.
What parts of your environment are best changed for you to have
success?
2.
What do you lose by making those changes? ______________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ 3.
What do you gain by making those changes? ______________________ _______________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________ 4.
Required for Christians: Read Mark 8:35-36 below. What additional
thoughts do you have about the above two answers? _____________________ _______________________________________________________________ 5. What
can you replace your bad habit with? (MUST DO THIS!) _______________________________________________________________ Mark
8:35-36 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his
life for My sake and for the gospel will save it. What does it profit a man to
gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 6.
Fill in the below for the triggers that apply to you. As much as
possible, include both actions and thoughts. I Corinthians 10:13 2
Corinthians 10:5
7.
Fill in the below for the triggers that apply to you. As much as
possible, include both actions and thoughts. I Corinthians 10:13 2
Corinthians 10:5
Micah 6:8 He has told you, O man,
what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to
love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? Prov 27:17 As iron
sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Mark 5:42-43 Immediately the girl stood up
and began to walk around (she was twelve years old). At this they were
completely astonished. He gave strict orders not to let anyone know about this,
and told them to give her something to eat. Mark 6:31 Then, because so many people were coming and going
that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by
yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” John 12:43 for they loved the approval of men rather
than the approval of God. Rom
12:3 For by the grace given me I say to every
one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather
think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has
distributed to each of you. Rom 12:9 Do not take
revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written:
"It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. I Cor 4:15 For though you have
countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your
father in Christ Jesus through the gospel. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Or do you
not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have
from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God
in your body. I Cor 9:16 For when I preach the gospel, I
cannot boast, since I am compelled to preach. Woe to me if I do not preach the
gospel! I Cor
9:24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets
the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Corinthians 10:13 No
temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is
faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you
are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. I Corinthians 10:31 So
whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. I Cor 15:33 Do not be misled:
"Bad company corrupts good character." 2
Corinthians 10:5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up
against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it
obedient to Christ. 2
Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness. 2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine
yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not
realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you
fail to meet the test! Ephesians 2:10 For we are his
workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared
beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 4:22-24 You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your
old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in
the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God
in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 5:18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is
debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me
strength. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of
timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have
finished the race, I have kept the faith. Hebrews 10:25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the
habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the
Day approaching. James 1:22 Do not merely listen to
the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. James
2:17 So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. James
4:7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from
you.
Leader information and supplements below ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FOR LEADERS
Motivating Others o
Stories are the most powerful weapon o
Leaders should be deliberately redundant o
Rewards one expects to receive are most significant o
Give
responsibility. We found if we randomly assigned people to be the boss that they
don’t show that willpower depletion effect as fast. It’s postponed. “Just a little bit of practice every day can increase self-control
and improving self-control in one area of life tends to improve all areas of
life.” This quote seems to be in
conflict with having limited willpower although the study didn’t indicate any
of the subjects were in a crisis mode, nor that the final test was on the same
day as the “workouts.” I suggested the “workout’ to be in the
evening only when one knew they wouldn’t fail. SUPPLEMENTS But you’re an
objective, self-determined, independent, unique snowflake, you say? No,
you’re not. ·
Those around you affect more of your behavior than you think. Poor
fitness, car
purchases, lateness,
having
children, charitable
contributions, divorce and stupidity
are all contagious. ·
Your environment manipulates your decision-making more than you
care to know as well. You act warmer
when it’s warmer and colder when it’s colder. Context rules
how you eat; you consume more when
plates are bigger and food
is closer. When you see kindness, you
are kind. What
you wear affects how you act. ·
Sorry to squash the idea of soulmates but who you date is only 2%
about what you want and 98% who is nearby. The boost from caffeine
and the fun of a roller coaster makes
you think a date is more attractive that they really are. The
happiness of relationships is often more
about the fun places you go and things you do together than the
characteristics of the people in it. The reason you’re
often so good a predicting other people’s behavior and so bad at predicting
your own is because when forecasting other people’s actions you
always take context into consideration. With yourself, you
assume you’re objective. We are often lazy creatures
of habit, strongly influenced
by the world around us. We don’t even use our leisure
time to do what we really enjoy, we
do what’s easiest. And without a prod we don’t do the ethical thing, we
do what’s convenient. But the predictability
of our reliance on context points to a
remarkably effective method for improving one’s life: THE
RIDER AND THE ELEPHANT: I’m holding the reins in my hands, and by
pulling one way or the other I can tell the elephant to turn, to stop, or to go.
I can direct things, but only when the elephant doesn’t have desires of his
own. When the elephant really wants to do something, I’m no match for him. The old parts of the brain are like the elephant: A simple yet
powerful creature, ruled by primal emotion and desires. The new brain (or prefrontal cortex) is the rider: Smarter and
more rational but easily overpowered. 1.
Keep the elephant calm. Don’t do things that will tempt
your desires. Manipulate your environment so as to make
what you should do easy and what you shouldn’t do hard. 2.
Strengthen the rider. And don’t let him get tired. 3.
Train the elephant. Break bad habits and create good ones.
Much of what we do every day is based on impulse and habit, not conscious
thought. More than 40 percent of the actions people performed each day weren’t
actual decisions, but habits. RESOLUTIONS FOR CHANGE Don’t fantasize ·
Fantasies
steal the energy you need to achieve your goals: ·
You’re
getting the reward before you’ve done the work and this kills your motivation. CREATING NEW HABITS ·
Baby steps: Set easily attainable mini-goals you’re sure to
succeed at. Success along the way is critical. ·
Reward yourself for small amounts of
progress ·
Accept you may fail and consider it
a temporary setback http://www.calldrmatt.com/Motives.htm
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